How to Help Someone in Denial About Addiction
When someone you love is clearly struggling with addiction, yet insists, “I don’t have a problem,” it can feel both heartbreaking and helpless. At Bali Harmony Rehab we know how difficult this situation can be, and we also know that change is possible. Denial is often part of the addiction cycle, but with the right approach, compassion, and boundaries, your support can become a powerful catalyst for transformation.
Why Denial Happens
Denial is not stubbornness, it’s a psychological defence mechanism. It helps protect individuals from guilt, shame, and fear. As the National Institute on Drug Abuse explains, addiction affects brain circuits related to judgement and self-awareness, making it difficult for individuals to see the full impact of their behaviours.
Common signs of denial include:
“I can stop whenever I want.”
“It’s just been a stressful month.”
“Everyone drinks or uses something.”
“You’re overreacting.”
These statements often reflect internal conflict, not a true lack of awareness.
What Not to Do
It’s tempting to argue, accuse, or beg someone to change, but this can backfire. Confrontation may trigger defensiveness and further denial. Instead, use an approach grounded in empathy and motivational communication.
Avoid:
Blaming or shaming
Making ultimatums (unless you're setting boundaries)
Enabling behaviours (e.g., covering up mistakes or lying for them)
10 Effective Ways to Help Someone in Denial
1. Educate Yourself
Understanding how addiction works can help you stay grounded and respond with compassion. Explore our article on Understanding Addiction to learn more.
2. Use the Right Timing
Choose calm, sober moments to speak, not during a crisis or conflict.
3. Use “I” Statements
Focus on your feelings rather than pointing fingers:
“I feel really worried when you disappear for days.”
“I miss the way things used to be between us.”
4. Be Specific About Behaviour
Rather than labelling them an addict, highlight patterns:
“You’ve missed two weeks of work in the past month.”
“You’ve cancelled every family dinner this year.”
5. Offer Support, Not Ultimatums
Say things like:
“I’m here if you ever want to talk.”
“Would you be open to learning more about how rehab works?”
6. Set Boundaries
Boundaries protect you and provide clarity:
“I won’t lend money for anything unclear.”
“I can’t be around when you’re using.”
7. Share Real Stories
Sometimes hearing about someone else’s experience helps more than facts. Consider sharing recovery podcasts, videos, or stories like the one in our Client Reviews section.
Alternatively get them to a AA or NA meeting in your local area, so they can hear the stories and challenges faced by others.
8. Consider a Professional Intervention
A guided intervention led by a qualified therapist can help your loved one see the situation from multiple perspectives in a safe, supported setting.
9. Look After Yourself
You can’t pour from an empty cup. Seek your own support through therapy or a group like Al-Anon. Burnout is real.
10. Keep the Door Open
Change often happens slowly. Keep being kind, clear, and consistent. Let them know help is available, when they’re ready.
What Our Clients Say
“I was in total denial, but my ex-partner never gave up on me. She didn’t push, she just kept showing up with love and honesty. Bali Harmony helped me see the truth without shame.”
— Anon Client, Perth, Australia
Final Thoughts
If someone you love is struggling but refuses to accept it, you don’t have to face this alone. At Bali Harmony Rehab, we help families navigate the pain of addiction denial with expert support and real care. We are here to support you every step of the way, whether that is information, support or even eventually rehab. Reach out to us today to speak confidentially with us.
Reviewed By:
Dr. Amelia DN Sugiharta
Consulting Psychiatric Doctor, Bali Harmony Rehab
Last medically reviewed: July 2025